We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak (Romans 15:1)

I started this blog in 2021 and only made a single post. I had intended to avoid current events. With the election of Pope Leo XIV and seeing so many varied reactions and emotions online, there was something I wanted to talk about. I also had to navigate my own thoughts and emotions. I’m not a scholar, and my grammar or manner of expressing a thought is not always the best. I’m not a theologian, have no philosophy background, and have not studied volumes of material by the Doctors or Fathers of the Church. I’m a simple person, a secular Carmelite, and I can only write from the heart. My thoughts are the fruit of prayer and reflection, and hopefully a response to grace – a grace that perhaps might help others.

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In this age of technology that allows us to speak our mind without much thought, I wanted to return to the something from the Sayings of Light and Love by St. John of the Cross:

118. Ignoring the imperfections of others, preserving silence and a continual communion with God will eradicate great imperfections from the soul and make it the possessor of great virtues.

St. John of the Cross. The Collected Works of St. John of the Cross (includes The Ascent of Mount Carmel, The Dark Night, The Spiritual Canticle, The Living Flame of Love, Letters, and The Minor Works) [Revised Edition] (p. 148). (Function). Kindle Edition.

We are not in a religious order, but nothing requires us to spend hours online. For those of us who live alone it is a bridge sometimes and we often have little control over what the algorithms bring us. This means, when we are online, we need to use some prudence.

Weakness comes in many forms. We might call them imperfections. In Holy Mother Church we have those who are on the peripheries to the left and to the right. While this could refer to heterodox vs. orthodox, it includes people in the various bands of spiritual maturity. Jesus Christ is at the center of those bands. The further out one is in these bands, the less they understand about love. One can know the Catholic faith very well, and may have degrees in theology and philosophy, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they are spiritually mature. Someone with little education can have a great deal of spiritual maturity. A Catholic who is always angry and annoyed by the words and actions of others is not spiritually mature. If we examine our social media feeds – things we post – and it’s focus is largely on the imperfections of other people, then we haven’t arrived at the center yet. It might be time to take a break and pray that God help us to find that center.

Anger as a weakness

Years ago, I was angry much of the time over feeling I was deprived of my Catholic faith by those entrusted to pass it along to me – bishops, priests, and catechists of my younger years. Then one day, I realized that the people who taught me that “butterfly and me” catechism were likely not properly catechized themselves; or, were malformed in the faith by people they trusted. The priest who once annoyed me for violating so many things in the General Instruction of the Roman Missal could have been pushed into those habits by someone he trusted, or by some set of threatening circumstances. If I wanted to, I could find many reasons to keep being angry over these things, but all it did back then was to leave me in a state of spiritual disquiet. Disquiet in the soul, from a discernment of spirits standpoint, is a red flag.

What came next – a new stage or phase – was anger with those Catholics who were angry all the time – the talking heads on YouTube, the authors of blogs and social media posts who all believed they had to fight and defend Holy Mother Church the way St. Peter tried to defend Jesus – with a sword. These are the bitter, nasty gourds who are the poster children for “radicals” of a certain kind (and it’s not limited to traditionalists who get blamed for it). Whether it’s a physical sword or the sword of our tongue, Our Lord doesn’t want or need either for His defense. He asked us to fight with love and charity. This is much harder to do as it is often preceded by silence, prayer and the grace that comes from a deeper relationship with Christ. Being persistently angry and annoyed with this group of people is a stealthy way the Angel of Darkness keeps us focused on the imperfections of others. It too causes disquiet.

In both cases, it is a form of impatience with the weaknesses in others. St. John of the Cross didn’t specify which imperfections we ought not be preoccupied with so we should assume he meant any imperfection in others. It manifests itself online with an almost constant focus on the negative things others are doing with snarky zingers. We need to be watchful of what Fr. John A. Hardon calls, pharisaical scandal, which means being disedified by the innocent actions of others. Or, perhaps seeing ‘immorality’ where an ignorant imperfection is at hand.

Moving on from anger

Forgiveness goes a long way in the healing process. Getting rid of baggage helps.

Fighting with love and charity doesn’t mean saying nothing at all or being a wall-flower in the face of error or spiritual immaturity. This kind of fight takes something more than physical and emotional strength – it takes spiritual strength which can only come when the soul is centered in the love of Christ. Spiritual strength is given, it is not obtained by any merit. It means, if you work to correct or bring someone else along – be it in person or online – it has to begin with love, not with anger and outrage. This kind of fight is not filled with one-lined gotcha remarks that play well to our own choirs.

What I’ve found helpful is to pray for those who annoy me, whether it is someone on the left or right periphery, or on the outer bands of spiritual maturity. Then I have to weigh whether saying anything will do any good, or if it will make things worse at which time I would walk away (Mt 7:6). If I do choose to say something, praying for them first sets the tone of my remarks. I know I’m moving closer to a Christ-centered response when the contempt I feel for someone I’m dealing with turns to pity and compassion for their ignorance or error. From this there is a purity in the response that the grace of God can use to make others more receptive.

Other times, I just have to get offline for a while and spend time reading something spiritually wholesome. It’s a way of changing the subject. With the passage of time, the anger dies down, especially when it’s accompanied by prayer for the person who got under my skin.

Prayerfully working for unity

My sense is that Pope Leo XIV will be working to bring unity in the Church. We know that unity subsists in truth, but that truth must be conveyed with charity. Looking at what he has said thus far, and how he has communicated it, I have little doubt that where others failed to reach people on the right and left peripheries, and the outer bands of spiritual maturity, Pope Leo XIV may have more success. He seems to have a great deal of spiritual maturity in his writings, speaking the truth, but not in a way meant to be offensive.

We can help by first letting go of the baggage, then praying for those who are uninformed, malformed, and down-right obstinate in wanting to make the Church founded by Jesus Christ into their own mold. With Christ, all things are possible. If you don’t believe that, you have a problem of faith.

Here is one last word from St. John of the Cross in the same section of his Collected Works:

64. See that you are not suddenly saddened by the adversities of this world, for you do not know the good they bring, being ordained in the judgments of God for the everlasting joy of the elect.

St. John of the Cross. The Collected Works of St. John of the Cross (includes The Ascent of Mount Carmel, The Dark Night, The Spiritual Canticle, The Living Flame of Love, Letters, and The Minor Works) [Revised Edition] (p. 144). (Function). Kindle Edition.

Edited for clarity